Lyonesse review: Sunset Boulevard meets Ab Fab, writes PATRICK MARMION

Lyonesse review: Sunset Boulevard meets Ab Fab set in Cornwall… with Lily James and Kristin Scott Thomas serving up the stardust, writes PATRICK MARMION

Lyonesse (Harold Pinter Theatre, London)

Rating:

Thanks to star turns from Lily James and Kristin Scott Thomas, Penelope Skinner’s new play which opened in the West End last night is all but sold out already.

No surprise there. After all, Lily is the Queen Of The Bodice Ripper, bursting onto our screens as Lady Rose in Downton Abbey, before taking on roles in War & Peace and playing Pamela Anderson in Pam & Tommy.

And Kristin is of course the legendary Ice Queen, famous for posh and frosty characters ranging from Fiona in Four Weddings And A Funeral to MI5 boss ‘Lady Di’ in Slow Horses on Apple TV+.

Thanks to star turns from Lily James (pictured as Kate) and Kristin Scott Thomas, Penelope Skinner’s new play which opened in the West End last night is all but sold out already

And Kristin (pictured as Elaine) is of course the legendary Ice Queen, famous for posh and frosty characters ranging from Fiona in Four Weddings And A Funeral to MI5 boss ‘Lady Di’ in Slow Horses on Apple TV+

But while both actresses sprinkle stardust liberally across Skinner’s play, I found the piece itself a curiously laboured and lacklustre affair.

It’s a mongrel tale of a fictional reclusive actress, Elaine Dailey (Scott Thomas), seeking to make a comeback after being forced into hiding 30 years before by a high-status stalker.

It’s like a curious mishmash of Sunset Boulevard and Ab Fab set in Cornwall. 

Scott Thomas is, moreover, an unlikely fusion of Gloria Swanson’s Norma Desmond and Joanna Lumley’s Patsy – with a bit of Jennifer Saunders’ Eddie thrown in for good measure. 

And (sticking with the Ab Fab theme) her co-star Ms James is not a million miles from Julia Sawalha’s strait-laced Saffron as Kate: a nervy film executive despatched to the West Country in a bid to secure the rights to Elaine’s story.

And (sticking with the Ab Fab theme) her co-star Ms James is not a million miles from Julia Sawalha’s strait-laced Saffron as Kate: a nervy film executive despatched to the West Country in a bid to secure the rights to Elaine’s story

Catching the eye constantly, like a 24-carat diamond, Ms James is a perfect fit as a thirtysomething yummy mummy trying to square her career with post-natal depression

First seen in dressing gown, swim-cap, goggles and wellies, Ms Scott Thomas cuts a flamboyantly eccentric figure, whose histrionic gestures make her look like she’s performing tai chi on ice

Catching the eye constantly, like a 24-carat diamond, Ms James is a perfect fit as a thirtysomething yummy mummy trying to square her career with post-natal depression. 

She’s a flawless impersonation of happiness and success – a North London ‘garl’ fanning her fingers and flapping her wrists in ostentatious awe of Elaine.

Now that her stalker is dead, Elaine means not only to launch her story on the world, but also to teach Kate how to tune in –and drop out – by joining her, in hippy bliss, in her coastal mansion that leaks like a colander. 

First seen in dressing gown, swim-cap, goggles and wellies, Ms Scott Thomas cuts a flamboyantly eccentric figure, whose histrionic gestures make her look like she’s performing tai chi on ice. 

Comedies, however, cannot live by histrionics alone. At a bottom-numbing three hours, Ian Rickson’s production needs more gags – and much more mayhem.

What we get instead is a solemn mission to promote sorority and re-run the MeToo debate yet again – with no new insights.

The pair are ably supported by Sara Powell as Elaine’s wholesome lesbian neighbour, who provides good sense, a chauffeur service and poetry recitations

And James Corrigan, as James’s husband Greg, does his best to demonstrate that not all men are b*****ds

The nearest we come to raucousness is a party which leaves both women the worse for wear – and Elaine demanding a hangover cure of dried Sicilian bull’s testicles. 

The pair are ably supported by Sara Powell as Elaine’s wholesome lesbian neighbour, who provides good sense, a chauffeur service and poetry recitations.

And James Corrigan, as James’s husband Greg, does his best to demonstrate that not all men are b*****ds.

Designer Georgia Lowe’s set is damply atmospheric and features black mould that, if real, would surely condemn it as a respiratory hazard.

But while the cast and creatives have fun, Skinner’s overwrought and underpowered play is simply left bobbing in their stylish wake, darling.

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