Reality TV royalty Gemma Collins is set to expose a new and intimate side to herself in her upcoming Channel 4 documentary Gemma Collins: Self-Harm and Me.
The show, which airs on Wednesday 16 February, will chart Gemma's 20-year battle with self-harm and expose a side to the The Only Way Is Essex star that the public are yet to see.
Throughout the hard-hitting film, Gemma, who recently told new! magazine that she's "desperate" to have a baby with fiancé Rami Hawash, opens up about her fears that the urge to self-harm might return and make her an "unfit mother."
During a heartfelt conversation with Rami in the documentary, Gemma admitted: "In the back of my mind because obviously we do want to go on to, you know, have a baby and stuff.
"I feel very happy with you and very settled with you and I think always in the back of my mind, you think, 'Oh s**t, is it going to come back?'"
When new! caught up with the star last month, she revealed: "I always put off having children because I was scared that I’d start self-harming again and wouldn’t be a fit mother. Yes, I can provide financial stability and a lot of love, but what if it came back?"
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Viewers will see how those closest to Gemma – including her mum, best friend and Rami – reacted when they found out that she self-harmed.
Gemma opens up about how Rami caught her cutting herself 10 years ago during their first shot at romance. They discuss the poignant moment in the documentary and the impact it had on them.
Gemma explains: "It was never about you, it was never about any of that. It was to do with me, obviously I was going through something and the only way I could relieve the pressure was to cut myself.
"I never wanted to kill myself, that never went through my head."
Speaking about her shift into the documentary space, Gemma said: "The public don’t know Gemma, they know ‘The GC’. Everyone sees me as this strong character. I’m actually a very soft, sensitive person, very few people get to see that side of me."
She continued: "I first self-harmed when I was at school. It was just something I did in private for 20 years. I haven’t cut myself since my early 30s… After my 30s I think I went onto a different sort of harm with bad partners, bad relationships with food, it’s all different types of self-harm."
Watch Gemma Collins: Self Harm and Me Wednesday 16 February at 9pm on Channel 4. Harmless and Mind provide help and support to anyone struggling with self-harm. Visit harmless.org.uk or mind.org.uk.
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