Meet 20 pint-a-night, 22-red card dirtiest UK footballer – who bedded 400 women

Summer has shot its bolt and England’s World Cup adventure is fading like a holiday tan, but we can still enjoy football’s sunnier virtues: Drinking, fornication and violence.

Roy McDonough, Britain’s dirtiest footballer, used to drink 20 pints a night, ­bedded 400 women as a ­prolific lothario, and collected a record 22 red cards.

His party piece was necking a pint of Guinness in seven seconds. Standing on his head. On a moving train.

Red Card Roy, as his bawdy, unabashed memoirs are entitled, never went in for a tackle with any intent to hurt opponents – apart from the premeditated acts of vengeance.

And as McDonough’s caveman rampage across seven clubs was published in ­paperback this week, nobody was better qualified to put the boot in on Gareth Southgate’s waistcoat or Jose Mourinho’s latest sulk.

Although McDonough, now a business development manager in Spain, has calmed down a bit these days, the book is still an ­absolute scream and his views on modern-day football are more trenchant than trench warfare.

You would still back him to win a 20-80 tackle with the odds stacked against him – and he’ll be 60 in October.

First in the firing line was the England manager.

He said: “Southgate looked a million dollars, setting a new fashion trend in his friggin’ waistcoat, but what did he actually do to change the course of a game in Russia?

“Instead of throwing a plastic chicken around in training and larking around on inflatable unicorns in the pool, how about taking a World Cup semi-final by the scruff of the neck, not ­backing off and blowing a 1-0 lead?

“If the fans wanted rubber chicken, they would go to any old corporate dinner for 300 businessmen. They shouldn’t fall for this happy-clapper propaganda about winning it in 2022.

“Do you think Germany will be as bad again in four years as they were in Russia? Do you think France will be any worse?

"Do you think Brazil will just sink back into the pack? Here’s a clue: They won’t be p ** about with plastic chickens or unicorn lilos.

“Southgate executed his man-of-the-people act to perfection, I’ll give him that, but he let a fantastic chance to take England into a World Cup final go begging.

“Harry Kane? He might have won the Golden Boot for knocking over skittles against group minnows, but how many times did he warm the goalkeeper’s gloves in the knockout games? And Dele Alli?

"He probably lost £75million in value because he never got a kick in the final third when England needed another dimension, someone to step up and play.”

McDonough was a ­fearless, combative forward in his day, and he remains lionised at Colchester, Southend and Walsall.

Although he is perhaps less revered at Cambridge, where he was unimpressed with the Christian values of the dressing-room ‘God squad’ including ex-­Manchester United, Everton and West Ham boss David Moyes.

He was also managed by three of England’s 1966 World Cup heroes – Sir Alf Ramsey at Birmingham, Sir Geoff Hurst at Chelsea and Bobby Moore at ­Southend.

“It didn’t work out for Sir Alf,” said McDonough.

“But at least he didn’t try and blind his ­players with bull**** or stand on the touchline with an iPad, ­writing notes to the ­milkman.

"It makes me laugh when ­modern managers send on subs and show them pages of diagrams showing where they are supposed to play.

"When did you ever see Sir Alex Ferguson twizzling around with notebooks or confusing his players with dossiers of arrows pointing everywhere?”

And in his tight ­corner at United, poor old Mourinho won’t be able to call on ­McDonough as a character ­witness.

He added: “I call him the antichrist of football. He lives by a code which says whoever has the ball is more likely to make a mistake, and games are won by the team that commits fewer errors.

“If Jose wants to live off other people’s mistakes, he should become a bank ­manager.”

Over the top, nowhere near the ball. Straight red. That’s the spirit.

  • Red Card Roy, by Roy ­McDonough with Bernie Friend, published by Vision Sports, £9.99 paperback.

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