I had a Facebook affair while my mum was dying… and would even sext and masturbate in the toilet while she was having tests in hospital
Speaking to Whimn, the unnamed daughter admitted the affair – which culminated in them meeting – got her through her grief.
It sounds crazy but something happened to me when my mum was dying. I’ve read about people acting out sexually during grief, and I can only assume that is what happened to me.
It was two years ago, and my mum had advanced ovarian cancer. I had a vivid sex dream about an ex-boyfriend who was living overseas, and after a night out with friends I came home and messaged him on Facebook, telling him I’d had an erotic dream about him.
Before I knew it we were having online sex. Fabulous, dirty online sex. For hours.
The next day I was waiting to take my mother home from an overnight stay in hospital when he got online and started telling me to take my clothes off. I was embarrassed but also excited.
Every day we sat online and chatted – telling each other every little secret, saying every thing we’d do to each other – and he’d also coach me through the illness that was taking my mum further and further away from me.
As a man who had lost both his parents to cancer, he was kind, gentle and knowledgeable, and in some ways his ability to talk though the process made what we were doing less shocking to me.
But mostly we’d write out wild fantasies in words on our phones and yes, masturbate together. On the way to work in the mornings I would be so tired, but so turned on – as he made me crazy with desire on the bus – and desperate for the day to end so I could tell him what I wanted to do to him as I had orgasm after orgasm.
Every day, I was going to my mum’s or taking her to hospital for tests, and while i know I did everything I could for her, I was also spending time in the hospital on messenger. As she slept or was in with doctors, I was reading all our messages, sending more, even masturbating in the bathroom.
I’m kind of ashamed about that part now, but at the time I was just aroused the whole time. I would send him photos of myself looking hot, looking sad, looking tired … He’d send me song lyrics, poems, book extracts – we were falling in lust and in love. Except, he was in a serious long-term relationship, and I was trying to come to terms with loss.
Mum got worse. I spent weeks staying with her and my father, helping him look after her, taking her to hospitals, talking to doctors. I worked on and off, and saw no one else. But I managed still to talk to him – every night we’d message for hours.