I told my dad his wife could come to my wedding if she makes herself less beautiful – I don't care, she's not my mum

WEDDINGS are joyous occasions but the planning part for some can turn into a nightmare. 

And choosing the guestlist can make things even worse, especially when family is involved. 

But for one bride-to-be, she is on the fence about one particular guest – and it has certainly caused a debate. 

The bride-to-be, who is anonymous, took to the online forum Reddit to ask if she was being insensitive with her decision making. 

In the post, she explained that her dad's wife is invited, but only if she follows strict rules with her outfit and that she does not get in any pictures. 

The woman first starts off by writing: “My parents were never happy. 


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“I think they just got married because they thought that's what people did, and it never occurred to them that they weren't compatible. 

“Growing up my dad always seemed depressed. He was a good dad, but he always seemed really sad. 

“He asked my mum to divorce multiple times and she said no. 

“She knew he cheated, but didn't particularly care. 

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“She didn't want to divorce because of what people would say and because she didn't want to cut back on her lifestyle at all.”

The woman explains that when her younger sister was 18, he “finally” left her for another woman. 

She continued: “She was devastated and humiliated. 

“It was pretty cliché, because she was 15 years younger, beautiful, and my dad is rich.

“Honestly I kind of hate her just for being the other woman and because my mum is so insecure and she made it 100 per cent worse.

“But my dad is so happy, so I'm trying to forgive him. It's been six years, they are married, and I know she is here to stay.”

Honestly I kind of hate her just for being the other woman and because my mum is so insecure and she made it 100 per cent worse

The bride-to-be explains that she is getting married, but a lot of people have said that she  “shouldn't invite her” and that she is a “bad daughter.”

The anonymous writer continues: “I am trying to be understanding, so she is invited, but not allowed to be in pictures. 

“My mum desperately does not want her there and has been crying and guilting me. 

“My mum's self esteem is shit and she has so many body issues.

“I told my dad that his wife could come if she wore plain navy blue, so absolutely not attention seeking and I guess to make her less beautiful, so my mum doesn't feel so shitty. 

“My dad said I was being unfair and what about his feelings.”

He added that his wife would agree if she could wear black, because she “apparently hates navy.” 

She continues: “I feel like it is my wedding and I'm being gracious by even letting her come, and she has plenty of fancy events where she gets to do what she wants. 

My mum desperately does not want her there and has been crying and guilting me

“Not being the most beautiful woman in the room is not going to kill her for one night. My dad still feels that I am being insensitive.”

She then adds: “I am giving her rules about what to wear when she isn't at the bridal party, so I might be being too controlling. 

“I am catering to my mum over my dad. I guess I'm punishing her for being beautiful.”

However, her post caused much of a debate.

One wrote: “Your father has done nothing wrong.

“Your mother kept him in an unhappy relationship because she didn’t want people to gossip and she didn’t want to give up her lifestyle.

“She kept your father unhappy and depressed for selfish reasons.

“Your mothers issues are her own, she needs therapy, your father and his wife shouldn’t have to pay the price for your other issues.

“Your father shouldn’t have to carry your mothers weight anymore.”

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But taking a different stance, someone else added: “He cheated on her a lot too. And he doesn’t need ‘permission’ to leave. He most definitely did plenty wrong.”

Then someone else quickly said: “If I were the step-mum I’d find the hottest navy dress I could and rock it out.”

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