Amazon's Shopping Horoscopes: Genius or Pure Evil?

For those of us who are avid horoscope readers, we have our go-to astrology experts. Maybe it’s an app on your phone you check every morning, or it’s a website you’ve bookmarked on your phone to to revisit every month. But the one site none of us have ever (nor likely will ever) consider? Amazon. And yet, Amazon has been sending a newsletter for the past three months that includes monthly shopping horoscopes to its members.

And to say this was a bad, no good, horrible idea on Amazon’s part would be an understatement.

The point of Amazon’s monthly horoscope is to help members “learn which Prime benefits are predicted to pair best with [their] Zodiac sign.” Each horoscope starts off with your seemingly typical astrological reading, but then transitions admittedly awkwardly into Amazon’s product and/or service recommendations. For example, in Amazon’s April horoscope roundup, Aries are encouraged to wrap themselves in a “cozy new blankie” from Amazon Home. Cancers are advised to keep skin “supple” with Amazon’s new skincare line Belei. While Pisces should “practice clear communication and fulfilling desire through Amazon Restaurants.”

Just, no.

Look, we get it; astrology really hit its stride in 2017 and hasn’t slowed down since. The Atlantic reported last year that Broadly’s horoscope section experienced exponential growth last year, garnering 150 percent more traffic in 2017 than the year before. And IBISWorld’s September 2018 industry market research report found that Americans spent $2.2 billion on “mystical services” in 2018.

But there are better ways to ride this astrology wave.

Spotify did it correctly with their Zodiac playlists; sure, we may have all listened to our respective sign’s playlist once and never returned, but it was fun and unique — and it only happened once. But pushing your products in the most loose and confusing way possible month after month? Sorry, Amazon, but this is a fail.

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