Figuring out holiday plans when you’re in a relationship could sometimes be a hassle. You have to determine whose family you’re spending time with, how you’re going to get there, and how you’re going to work out other logistics, like when to leave and even how to help out once there. There are some pretty sound reasons as to why you shouldn’t invite your significant other to Thanksgiving, especially since you want holiday time to run as smoothly as possible.
One potential issue in inviting an SO to Thanksgiving is the cost: Transportation to and from far-flung Thanksgiving celebrations can be prohibitively expensive, and that’s an instance where you might not even try to invite them.
But sometimes, there are other reasons you may not want to invite your significant other to Thanksgiving. For me, when I was in a long-term relationship during college, I didn’t even invite my SO to Thanksgiving. We usually spent time with each other’s families during the longer winter break, and independently went to our own families for the shorter Thanksgiving break. That worked out for us, but sometimes, not inviting your SO to Thanksgiving could be due to something else. Read on to see what these three women had to say about their experiences with their partner for Thanksgiving.
It’s your time to see your family.
When I was dating my college boyfriend, it honestly didn’t even pop into my head to invite him to my house for Thanksgiving. It was my time to see my family, away from college friends for a weekend, and enjoy that time with people I didn’t see that often. I never looked at it as weird or strange: He wanted to go home to see his family then, too.
What did work for us was I spent Christmas with his family, and he came to celebrate Passover with mine. For Thanksgiving, we went our own independent ways, checked in on each other with phone calls and texts, and reunited after Thanksgiving break.
You don’t want one of you to have to choose one family over another.
Unfortunately, you can’t be in two places at once. Since Thanksgiving is literally a one-day celebration, if you as a couple decide to spend Thanksgiving with your partner’s family, you’ll have to miss out on your own family’s celebration this year. Or, if you go to your family’s celebration, your partner will have to miss out on their family’s holiday.
"My boyfriend is always reluctant to leave his family to visit mine during this time of year, which has led to a disagreement more than once," Reddit user FireInTheXDisco said. "When I was younger, I always just assumed that you would split the time as best you could, but I’m finding that’s not always the case."
They don’t get along with your family.
While it certainly would be ideal for your significant other to get along with your family, they just might not have the best relationship with everyone in your life. You might want to skip out on inviting your partner to Thanksgiving if you know it could be tense.
Reddit user StrangerDangered said that she went to her boyfriend’s Thanksgiving, and his grandma asked her to leave the kitchen while she was cooking with her boyfriend. Apparently, the grandma asked her to leave so the whole family could come in and make the secret cranberry sauce recipe. Her boyfriend apparently didn’t know his grandma asked her to leave, and she overheard family members calling her a "stranger," even though they’ve been dating for two years. This was obviously a super uncomfortable situation.
With family and holidays, things could sometimes get complicated. If you know it’s possible that your SO coming to Thanksgiving could complicate things, you may just want to go to your individual family’s celebrations this year, or figure out some way to compromise that works for both of you.
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