I fell for an old flame again but now he’s dumped me to stay with his wife

Dear Coleen

I feel like a complete fool and I’m heartbroken as well.

A few months ago, I connected with an ex via social media and fell in love with him all over again – yes, I know it’s a cliché.

We’re both married, but neither of us has kids, and once we started talking, we started flirting and then eventually we met for a drink and that led to sex which was exciting and I felt alive again for the first time in years.

He admitted that he loved me and that his wife didn’t get him or even like him!

My marriage has been through a rocky patch, too, so we were kindred spirits. I really fell for him hard.

Then a couple of weeks ago, completely out of the blue, he texted to say we should cool things and that he’d been feeling guilty about his wife and was even thinking of renewing their wedding vows.

To say I was shocked is an ­understatement. I’d invested heavily in him and had the idea we’d both leave our partners and start a life together.

He’s completely cut me off now and won’t respond to my messages. I am so angry I feel like telling his wife what’s been going on.

I’d love your opinion, as I’m driving myself mad thinking about it.

Coleen says

Firstly, as far as telling his wife goes, I don’t think it’ll make you feel any better – maybe for a few minutes, and then you’ll feel bad about it. Plus, if you tell her, you have to accept that your ex or his wife might tell your husband – and if anyone tells him, it should be you.

You knew what you were getting involved in – it was an affair which, by the sounds of it, came about because you were both bored and struggling to cope in your respective marriages.

It was a symptom of your ­relationships being in crisis.

Of course an affair is thrilling and the sex is great because it’s not real life and you both know you shouldn’t be doing it.

I understand it’s difficult to just switch off your feelings for someone you care about, but your ex has made it clear he’s moving on from it and so should you.

I think all you can do is learn from it. Take this experience as a sign that you need to sort out your marriage one way or the other.

Source: Read Full Article