I slept with my neighbour's wife and now he wants to fight me

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M proud that I humiliated my neighbour by having sex with his wife, but now he wants to fight me.

I’m a single guy aged 27 and I’ve been in a feud with my neighbour, who’s around 50, for several months, ever since I moved into the same apartment block.

He bangs on my door, shouts and complains about me, saying I make a lot of noise and play my music too loud, and that he dislikes my friends.


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He’s threatened to get me evicted. If I bump into him in the hall, he glares and curses at me.

His wife is sweet though, and hot. Whenever I see her alone, she apologises for his behaviour.

She’s younger than him, about 37, and I think he embarrasses her. It’s like she knows she could do better.

One day, a couple of weeks ago, she sent me a text message about a problem with the bins. We got into a text exchange which got increasingly flirty.

After multiple text exchanges, she agreed to come round to my flat while her husband was away for work. One thing led to another and we ended up having hard, passionate sex for three full days.

It was incredible. The only thing more incredible was the knowledge that I had officially cuckolded my nemesis. I had proven to be the alpha male.

Now, she must have let slip what happened because he is steaming mad and says he wants to fight me.

I’m younger, bigger, fitter and stronger and could easily beat him up. It’s tempting but I don’t want to end up in prison. And let’s face it, I’ve already destroyed him.

What should I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Violence is never the answer but his desire to hurt you is understandable, given that you’ve slept with his wife and are gloating about it.

He must be feeling angry, hurt and humiliated, and it sounds like that was your intention.

You appear to be someone who has no empathy and who cares only about yourself. You’ve actually taken pleasure in destroying this man’s life, and in using his wife to do it.

I wonder why you enjoy hurting others and feel the need to prove what a big, tough guy you are.

Perhaps underneath you are hiding a lot of pain and insecurity.

Your behaviour is narcissistic. If you want to read up on this, go to mind.org.uk.

The best thing you can do now is to avoid him. If you do need to talk to him, and don’t want things to escalate further, I suggest that you now apologise to him for your actions.

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