I tried Wall Street’s ‘genius drug’ and it’s worth the hype

I’m a single mama of two and guess what? I’m exhausted.

Not just exhausted. But F-word exhausted. That is to say — really, really exhausted and then some.

I fall into bed each night in a high panic. And my thoughts go like this: “I am so tired right now — how on Earth will I get through tomorrow?

“If I don’t go to sleep right this very second, I will be too tired to cope with the kids, not to mention everything else.

“OMG am I still awake? I am still awake! Tomorrow is going to be awful — I must sleep. I can’t sleep. I MUST SLEEP!”

Sound familiar?

Probably it does. But this next bit may not. I have a friend who is a doctor and she suggested I try to get on top of my chronic exhaustion by taking a microdose of a drug called Modafinil.

This drug, she said, initially was designed to combat narcolepsy, where patients fall asleep all the time. It worked to combat that condition, and soon regular people were clamoring for a slice of the action.

Not long after it was released, this drug was taken up by genius high-flyers such as stockbrokers, surgeons, air traffic controllers and others who need to be motivated and full of energy even when they are seriously fatigued.

Apparently, it is quite popular with them.

And after taking it for a couple of months, I can tell you exactly why

Modafinil is what’s classed as a eugeroic — that is to say, it’s a wakefulness-promoting agent.

Unlike traditional stimulants, Modafinil doesn’t make you feel speedy or on edge. It also doesn’t cause a withdrawal or sudden crash.

But it does provide a steady mood boost and noticeable feelings of stamina. There’s even research to show that it reduces the chances of you making impulsive decisions.

So here’s my take

This stuff works. For real. I took 50 milligrams daily for two months and I have never felt better. My energy levels were steady and my mood too.

But eventually, the drug ran out.

And it’s expensive (roughly $300 for about eight weeks’ worth) and so I could not buy any more. And you know what — I felt worse than ever.

Maybe it was psychological only, but I crashed, and hard.

I wanted nothing more than to pop one of those little pills onto my tongue and swirl it down so that I could manage my kids and plow through my work too.

The hard truth

But the truth is that relying on a drug to survive my day-to-day life made me uneasy. I figured if I wasn’t able to get through my days without relying on a mood-altering drug, there was a problem and I should perhaps be looking at making some changes. Working less, say, or asking for more help with my boys.

And so that’s what I decided to do.

Has it worked? Somewhat. Is it as easy as popping a pill? Absolutely not. But I feel like I’m doing the right thing, and for me, that’s the most important thing of all.

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