I'm convinced that my ex-husband is trying to turn our daughter, 9, against me

DEAR DEIDRE: I THINK my ex-husband and his dad are trying to turn our nine-year-old daughter against me.

They have booked a holiday to the Caribbean and told her about it but going would mean missing a week of term time, so I’ve told her she won’t be able to go.


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I’m 39 and was married to my ex, who’s 42, for seven years. We’ve been separated for four years.

The marriage was awful but I’ve never wanted to stop my daughter from seeing her dad or grandad.

But they should have asked me before booking the holiday instead of telling my daughter and letting her get excited.

She doesn’t understand why I’ve said she can’t go unless the dates are changed and is very upset.

But I’m the one who’ll get into trouble with the school if she goes.

My ex hasn’t been a good dad. He only sees our daughter when it suits him and often lets her down.

But when he does see her, he buys her toys and sweets and lets her stay up all hours.

Now she sees him as the fun parent while I’m the killjoy.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You are right, taking a child out of school in term time is against the law unless there are special circumstances. ACE Education can tell you more (ace-ed.org.uk).

Your husband also needs your permission to take her out of the country.

Perhaps you could ask your daughter’s teacher to explain this, so you are not the “bad guy”.

My support pack When Parents Fall Out outlines the effect of parental arguments on children.

Give it to your ex to read too. Could your ex move the trip to holiday time?

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