You’ve been dating someone and everything is blissful. You get a twinkle in your eye whenever he calls; you get butterflies in your stomach when you’re about to see him again.
Then…boom! Just like that, you’re right in the middle of your first major disagreement and now your stomach is just in knots. What just happened? Is this the end of bliss as you know it, or just your first big bump in the road? How do you recover in a healthy way without ruining the progress you’ve made together?
Guess what? You will recover and this is the natural progression of your new relationship! Here are nine (matchmaker-approved) tools to help you get through it with flying colors.
Take A Deep Breath
It’s so easy to want to get your point across and be ready to jump in as soon as each other says their very last word. But did you really hear what your partner said? Make it a priority to focus more on hearing the other party’s point of view with the goal in mind of finding an actual resolution rather than just deciding that someone is “right.”
Respect The “Process”
Just because you feel more comfortable taking a few minutes to breathe, gather your thoughts, and come back hours later to tackle the issue, that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what works best for your partner…and vice versa. They might be someone who needs to resolve the issue right then to be able to move forward. And, neither is necessarily wrong. Respect and recognize the way that both of you resolve conflicts and try to bend a bit each way to find a happy medium.
Don’t Immediately Resort To What Happened In Past Relationships
Avoid The Clam-Up
Don’t Automatically Bring Others In
Love Each Other Through It
Praise Each Other For Growth
This Isn’t A Game, and There Doesn’t Have To Be A Winner!
Remember this is a real world you’re living in, and you don’t always get to “win.” Two great ingredients to the “relationship recipe” are communication and compromise. It may have worked in your favor this round but it may not the next. There’s no reason to gloat or walk around like a peacock but remain humble and grateful. It’s called maturity.
When that first real argument arises, remember the fond memories that brought you both together and at the end of the day, that you care about each other deeply. Just know, this is normal couple behavior, and this too shall pass.
For more advice from The Matchmaking DUO™ (Kelli Fisher & Tana Gilmore), visit their site or follow them on Facebook or Twitter.
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