My girlfriend's questioning our future after she spotted me wearing tights
DEAR DEIDRE: AS we were getting intimate, my girlfriend’s jaw dropped when she saw I was wearing tights under a pair of jeans.
I am a 30-year-old rugby-playing builder and have loved the feel of tights since my late teens. But I’ve always kept it a secret.
My girlfriend, who is 34 and divorced with a three-year-old child, caught me off-guard and I was mortified.
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We met online five months ago and have been taking things slowly because she was badly hurt before.
I’m willing to wait as long as it takes before we have sex because I’d like a future together.
Two weeks ago she and her daughter came to stay for the weekend, which was a first. I forgot all about wearing my tights when she was there.
I got into wearing them when I was labouring on a building site as a teenager and it was freezing cold.
Mum suggested I borrowed some of her tights because I didn’t have long johns. Ever since, I get a thrill out of wearing them and like the feel around my bum.
But it stops at tights. I don’t wear any other female clothes.
After my girlfriend had settled her daughter down to sleep, we opened some wine and started kissing. She pulled my shirt out of my jeans and then saw the waistband of my tights.
I explained how I started wearing them and only wore them in my private life.
She said, “Oh, well, I don’t know what I think about that.”
We ate our meal in silence and she left pretty sharpish the next morning, saying she’d be in touch about where we go from here.
I’m worried that she’s going to dump me. I really like her and enjoy our time together. What can I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: Many men enjoy the feel of female clothing on their skin.
But this normally taps into some comforting feeling they experienced with soft fabrics as a child.
In your case, you discovered your love for wearing tights later in life.
My support pack on fetishes explains these urges and how they can affect relationships.
Give your girlfriend a call and explain you do not want what she discovered to affect your relationship.
As wearing tights was a substitute for long johns, why not revert to those instead? This may feel less embarrassing for you and more acceptable to your girlfriend, too.
My support pack called How To Look After Your Relationship will help.
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