DEAR DEIDRE: MY mum sometimes goes weeks on end without seeing our children. She doesn’t even text or ring to see how they are.
My son is nine and my daughter is seven. We live near my mother and we used to take the children to see her regularly.
But she makes no effort with them whatsoever so I have stopped going. She has never taken them out anywhere, not even to the playground.
She does at least send my daughter something for her birthday but doesn’t bother with my son at all. He notices, of course.
I’m 31 and always included my mother when they were babies but it seems she doesn’t really care about them. I think it is a most unnatural way for a grandmother to behave.
I am now thinking that maybe I should cut her out of my life and the children’s lives altogether as her attitude just causes me stress I can do without.
DEIDRE SAYS: Maybe her grandma didn’t bother with her but, rather than cutting their grandmother out of your children’s lives – which would affect them worse than her – involve her more.
Invite her along when you take them somewhere. Ask her to look after them when you need it. When you do, take some games they can all play together.
Emphasise how much you all value her. It may not be true now but, handled in the right way, could become true in future.
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