My wife keeps binge drinking but insists she's not an alcoholic and won't get help

DEAR DEIDRE:  MY wife has a drink problem and refuses to do anything about it. She’s driving me out.

I’m 54 and she’s 52. I don’t want to leave my home as we’ve lived here for nearly 30 years.

Our daughter is round the corner so we see our grandchildren every day.

But my wife binge drinks for a week or so every month or six weeks. She gets very argumentative and has even thrown things at me.

She is always sorry and says she will never drink again, but then relapses.

She insists she’s not an alcoholic and doesn’t need help.

I’ve now been told I have heart trouble and the stress of waiting for her to start drinking is getting me down.

She knows about my heart but won’t do anything to tackle her drinking.

I need to look after my own health but how do I tell her I am leaving?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Use much the same words as you have to tell me.

Say you can’t live with the strain of wondering when she is going to start drinking again.

Say you will stay if she seriously engages with support to stop drinking.

Different approaches suit different people and my e-leaflet Dealing With A Drinker explains more.

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