Our son has cut us off because we are still in touch with his ex and the children

DEAR DEIDRE: OUR son wants nothing to do with me and my husband because we are still in touch with his ex and seeing their children – our grandsons.

Our son split from his ex two years ago. They are both 32 and their boys are six and eight. I think he was seeing someone else when they broke up and his ex was understandably bitter.

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They went to court to sort out access but the kids never settled at my son’s and he blames his ex.

As lockdown arrived, he said he’d stop seeing them, as he couldn’t cope with the stress. But his new partner is now having a baby and I wonder if that is a factor. My husband and I are both in our fifties. We couldn’t bear not seeing our grandsons and his ex agreed we could keep up contact. Our son is furious and has cut us off.

We might never meet our new granddaughter. 

DEIDRE SAYS: You are right to continue contact with your grandchildren.

Hopefully your son will realise his mistake and be mature enough to change tack. 

Don’t criticise him but keep saying how much you love him and how his children need him. Find sources of support for you all in my e-leaflet When Parents Don’t Get On.

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