Scorned wife of sports pundit Richard Keys, 60, left devastated by his affair with their daughter’s friend, 28, reveals her ten rules unfaithful men MUST follow to save their relationships
- EXCLUSIVE Julia Keys is the ex-wife of ex-Sky Sports presenter Richard Keys, 60
- Marriage ended after it emerged Richard had cheated with his daughter’s friend
- Julia, 57, has drawn on personal and professional experience to write a book
- The MANscript tells women how to spot infidelity – and thrive after the cheating
The ex-wife of former Sky Sports presenter Richard Keys has shared her tips for surviving infidelity in a revealing new book.
Julia Keys, 57, found herself at the centre of a very public scandal when it emerged her then husband of 36 years, Richard, now 60, was having an affair with lawyer Lucie Rose, 28, a close friend of their daughter Jemma.
The trained psychotherapist has now drawn on her personal and professional experience to write The MANscript, a guide for women on how to identify, confront and rebuild their life – and relationship – following infidelity.
Julia Keys, 57, left, found herself at the centre of a public scandal when it emerged her husband Richard, 60, right, was having an affair with lawyer Lucie Rose, 28, friend of their daughter
Julia, who penned the book with close friend Jacqui Coles, offers written ‘scripts’ of the common words and phrases used by men who are trying to conceal an affair – and reveals this is how she uncovered her own husband’s cheating.
Julia, who had previously said she was left ‘devastated’ by the affair, explains: ‘While writing this book with Jacqui, and since discovering my husband’s infidelity, we realised there was a common theme emerging.
‘The men who were having an affair seemed to be following a script. Not only were they saying similar things but their behaviour was also very predictable.
‘The same lies were being said to their partners and the same excuses were being used in an attempt to cover up their deceit and infidelity.
‘My husband was also following the same script and that’s how I caught him out.’
While the cheating and lies ultimately led to the breakdown of her own marriage, Julia insists it is possible for a relationship to fully recover as long as the man is willing to work hard and take responsibility.
While the cheating and lies ultimately led to the breakdown of her own marriage, Julia insists it is possible for a relationship to fully recover as long as the man is willing to work hard and take responsibility. Pictured, Richard with Lucie in London
Heartache: Two years on, Julia Keys, 58, has spoken about Richard’s gut-wrenching betrayal, revealing it ‘devastated’ her children’s world as well as her own. The couple pictured in 2007 with their daughter Gemma
Here, in an extract from the book, Julia and Jacqui share the 10 rules men must follow if they want to save a relationship…
1. Absolutely no contact with the Other-Woman
No messages, no telephone call, no texts, no email, nothing. Basically, no contact between your partner and his former lover, whatsoever!
2. That other person must not exist anymore
He must remove the Other-Woman. If he is serious about rebuilding your relationship, he will do this. If he can’t or refuses, you have to ask yourself why you are trying when he clearly doesn’t care enough.
3. Your partner has to permit you to distrust him
If he gets angry with you every time you question him, he doesn’t appreciate the impact of his affair on you and the fact that you can’t trust him right now. He must accept that you will be carrying a burden of distrust and by staying with him you are making yourself vulnerable to hurt again.
Julia, who penned the book with close friend and co-writer Jacqui Coles, offers written ‘scripts’ of the common words and phrases used by men who are trying to conceal an affair
4. He must be patient
If he gets angry that it is taking too long for you to trust him, tell him, ‘It is rather that you are taking too long to prove to me that you are worthy of my trust again.’
5. Actions speak louder than words
It is an old cliche but it is true. Rebuilding your relationship is up to him and if he wants to regain your trust, he has to make sure that his actions make you feel appreciated, loved and that you have his full attention.
6. The person who has had the affair has to be the one to help heal their partner
Above all, not only do they have to say how sorry they are, but they need to show the hurt person that they really mean it.
7. He must agree to complete transparency
The person who has had the affair has to be totally transparent going forward.
8. He must be open
The cheater has to talk about the issue(s) that led to him choosing to have an affair. He has no right to get angry when you question him.
9. You have to rebuild trust
This can only be achieved during a sustained period of time and requires patience, understanding and total honesty.
10. Forgiveness needs to be earned
Forgiveness is a choice and it doesn’t come easily. Forgiveness is not about forgetting or condoning. It is about accepting that no one is perfect and mistakes are made. If your partner is truly sorry for his actions and does everything he can to help you heal, then forgiveness can be achieved, if you so choose. It is forgiveness that releases the anger and heals the hurt you feel. In other words, it’s about setting yourself free.
The MANScript, by Julia Keys and Jacqui Coles (Hashtag Press, £12.99), is published on May 1.
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