Woman covers her boobs with lobster after being locked out of spa naked

A writer has left fans howling after sharing the humiliating story of being locked out of a fire escape fully naked.

Things didn’t end there though, as the embarrassing tale got worse and worse.

Anbara Salam posted a series of tweets describing the nightmare scenario which quickly went viral.

She is the British-Arab author of Things Bright & Beautiful and Belladonna.

Anbara posted to Twitter and said: "As a public service in these stressful times I'd like to offer, as a palate cleanser, the most embarrassing moment of my life.

“10-ish years ago, my ex-boyfriend and I visited a spa in Germany.

It's swimsuits in the pool but you have to be naked in the sauna – by the way, I speak no German.”

She continued: “Boyfriend and I agree to meet in the café.

“I get undressed, grab a lil towel and go off to the sauna.

“There are 2 unmarked doors at the end of a corridor, I take a guess and go through the one on the left.

“It's not the door to the sauna. It's the fire escape.”

Anbara, a research associate at the University of Oxford, added: “The door locks behind me.

“I am trapped inside the fire escape, in the nip. It's 2 storeys, dark, grim, noisy because of huge fans.

“I bang on the fire escape door until I actually hurt myself. Nothing. Yell for help. Nothing.

“Fully crying, I run downstairs, trying to work out which part of me I should cover with the lil towel – my face? A single buttock?”

But wait, the situation worsens.

She said: “I bang on the second floor doors for 10 minutes. Yell some more. Nothing.

“On the ground floor there's an unlocked door. Jackpot!

"But no, it's a terrifying machine room with massive fans and pumps and 'electrocution' symbols on everything.”

The author, who has a PhD in theology, wrote: “Friends, there's nothing quite like running, naked and crying, around an industrial machine room.

“I spot a service lift – out of sheer panic, I run into the lift, covering each boob in turn, mashing the buttons.”

Anbara said that she went up and down in the lift several times while crying and waving at the security camera.

She continued: “After a few rides up and down, there's a German loudspeaker announcement, and I just know it's about me.

“Like 'the naked girl in the fire escape lift please stop mashing the buttons' or whatever, but I can't understand it, so just cry louder and gesture at the camera.

“Eventually the lift doors open…

“A spa employee stands there."

Anbara added: “He is the most dressed man to ever be wearing clothes. He has brought no towel for me.

“He says something in German, I cry, he sighs, waves for me to follow him. I go after him, still switching around this washcloth.”

The young woman was then made to walk out of the building and through the reception of the spa hotel.

Anbara notes that people comment and point at her but that she “shame black’s out” and “cannot here them”.

She wrote: “I am transcendent with shame. Untouchable.

“Reception is busy, so busy he has to yell at people to make way so I can get through the crowd.

“The guy explains (I'm guessing) the situ to the receptionist… An old lady gives me her pool float.

“It is shaped like a lobster. The claws rest on my boobs.”

Eventually the naked writer was asked for some identification.

Anbara continued: “I am wearing only a lobster.

“Where, friends, where would I be keeping my f****** ID?

“The receptionist sighs and lets me through the turnstile.”

In her final post, the author writes: “Ten minutes later, when I run sobbing into a towel and find my boyfriend in the café he has the audacity to be grumpy because he's been waiting for an hour.”

Anbara’s followers were left howling at the embarrassing story.

The first post has over 1.8k retweets and almost 6k likes while the following updates have hundreds.

One person responded: “This is literally that nightmare of going to school naked come true.

“My deepest, deepest, sympathies.”

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Another said: “Oh god I was there with you in the service lift.

“Crying and waving. This is off the scale hilarious.”

While a third added: “If your books are written at all like this thread, you're going to have a long career!”

Many of the replies said that they were glad the boyfriend was now an ex.

Still more said they were left “crying with laughter”.

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