I cheated on my wife for 11 years – the 7 signs your man is contemplating an affair & the clue he’s already played away | The Sun
October 13, 2023
CALLING it quits in a long-term marriage and embarking on single life in the sixth decade isn’t a decision most take lightly – but infidelity can be one reason why couples split.
Research by dating website Illicit Encounters reveals that cheating has risen by seven per cent this year and with divorce rates rocketing, less of us are refusing to settle for just one partner.
A YouGov survey revealed that one in five Brits admitted to having had an affair and only half stopped at one.
A 40-year-old dad-of-three who goes by the online pseudonym of Dark Horse has been unfaithful throughout his entire 11-year marriage.
Here, he reveals the secret clues that your partner is contemplating an affair right now – and the one red flag that suggests he may have had his head turned already.
THE CLUES ARE EVERYWHERE
Take it from me – a serial cheater – I'm not alone.
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The truth is, we all leave signs out there. Often by accident, and unless you're a real pro at this, the chances are anyone who has cheated will have left a trail of breadcrumbs.
You just need to look for them.
THERE'S A TECH TRAIL
In the age of technology, digital devices often contain our most private information.
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If a man suddenly becomes exceptionally protective of his phone or computer, frequently clears browser histories, changes passwords without any apparent reason, or turns his phone face-down whenever he's around, it may indicate he's hiding something.
While everyone deserves privacy, an abrupt change in behaviour around technology, coupled with evasion when questioned, can be concerning.
Sometimes this behaviour is not about hiding a romantic liaison but may relate to other personal issues. Either way, a drastic change often indicates that something's amiss.
HE DOESN’T CARE IF IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY
Relationships are built on emotional connections.
If a man starts becoming distant, avoids deep conversations, or seems less interested in sharing about his day, it might suggest he's emotionally invested elsewhere.
Cheating isn't just a physical act – it's often an emotional betrayal.
When someone gets emotionally involved with another person, they might unconsciously pull away from their primary partner.
This withdrawal can manifest in simple ways like avoiding eye contact, forgetting significant dates like your birthday or anniversary, or even becoming indifferent to events in your life.
HE DOESN’T CLOCK OFF
Consistency in routines is typical for most individuals.
When a man suddenly has a spike in late work hours, begins taking unexpected business trips or offers vague explanations for regular absences, these could be warning signs.
It's essential to consider the broader context – is there a significant project at work? Has he changed jobs or roles recently?
While it's important not to jump to conclusions, observing patterns and looking for inconsistencies can provide valuable insights.
HE STRUGGLES TO STICK TO A STORY LINE
Honesty is the foundation of trust in any relationship.
When simple, everyday questions are met with hostility or overly complicated answers, it can indicate guilt or evasion.
If you notice him struggling to maintain a story line, frequently changing details of a story, or getting defensive when confronted with discrepancies, there may be more beneath the surface.
Guilt can manifest in various ways, and for some, it might mean getting defensive even over trivial matters and provoking arguments for no reason.
SEX OFF THE AGENDA
Physical intimacy is a vital component of romantic relationships.
A sudden decrease in affection, reluctance to be intimate, or altered patterns in your sexual relationship can be concerning.
It's worth noting, however, that many factors, including stress, health issues, or depression, can affect intimacy.
But when these changes in intimacy are accompanied by other suspicious signs, they may be more ominous.
YOU’RE INTO THE RED
In today’s digital world, tracking expenses has become more accessible.
If you start noticing unfamiliar charges on credit card statements, find receipts for luxury gifts you never received, or spot unexplained expenses related to dinners or hotel stays, it might be time to have a conversation – especially if your joint account suddenly goes overdrawn.
Finances in relationships can be complex, and sometimes these charges might be for legitimate surprises or personal indulgences.
However, a consistent pattern of unusual expenses can be a red flag.
And if you're wondering if he's had his head turned…
HE’S SORRY FOR EVERYTHING AND NOTHING
One sign that a man has cheated is a sudden display of guilt which can manifest in various ways.
He might become unusually attentive, showering you with gifts, compliments, or affection out of the blue.
This overcompensation can be an attempt to alleviate personal guilt or to distract you from any suspicions you might have.
He may also become overly defensive or avoid certain topics, acting jittery when past events or certain time frames are discussed.
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Sometimes, an unexpected surge in remorse can lead him to confess, but in other cases, it might just reflect in his behaviour.
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