DEAR DEIDRE: LAST night I got drunk and kissed three men at a party, after a row with my boyfriend.
I don’t want to lose him but I feel like my life is spiralling out of control. I know I’ve got a drinking problem.
I’m 28 and my boyfriend of six years is 30.
I love him but he never makes me feel attractive or wanted. I’m always the one who has to initiate sex.
When I go out and get drunk, it gives me so much self-confidence. I love the attention I get from guys.
But I don’t want to drink so much or to keep cheating.
I feel so guilty I kissed other men when it’s him I want.
I’ve tried talking to him about how I feel, but he doesn’t understand.
How can I get out of this destructive pattern before my partner leaves me?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s natural to want to feel desired by your partner.
But your reliance on alcohol for confidence and your need for strangers’ sexual attention suggests something deeper is going on here, maybe as the result of past abuse or neglect.
It’s positive that you have recognised you need help before you destroy your health and relationship.
Talk to your partner and ask for his support.
Please read my support packs on Raising Self-esteem and Drink Problem, which will point you towards getting the appropriate professional help.
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