‘I only bonk missus twice a month – she fakes orgasms to end sessions quicker

Why is my sex life so lame when everyone else is having such a great time?

My best mate has just got back from Las Vegas with his brothers. They bedded loads of beautiful girls who loved their accents. Now two of the girls are pestering him for his home address.

They want to come here and bonk my mate all over again. Meanwhile, my cousin is dating a wealthy older woman who is sex mad. He says she’s the hottest lover he’s ever known, while a bloke at my work is having great success with internet dating.

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And me? Well, I’m stuck in the doldrums. I’ve been with my girlfriend for years and it’s fair to say that we’ve lost our groove. We just don’t click anymore. I still love her, but the light has gone out of our relationship.

We’re now down to sex twice a month – and even then, we give it a miss if one of us is feeling tired. We know each other so well that we’ve got love making down to the very basics. These days our routine is like sex by numbers, and I’m convinced she fakes her orgasm just to bring things to an end quicker.

I miss the passion, the excitement, and the thrills. Recently she and I were away with a big crowd of mates. Everyone got squiffy and started comparing sex stories.

Suddenly, as clear as day, my girl announced that we’re still as frisky, horny, and hungry for each other as ever. A blatant lie! That one comment proved to me that she’s just as deluded and frustrated as I am. Where do we go from here?

JANE SAYS: Don’t be taken in by the boasts of others. Of course, your mate is going to come back from Las Vegas bragging of a brilliant time. What else is he going to say? That it was boring, and no one fancied him?

Your other mates may give the impression that they’re rutting all night, every night, but people exaggerate. Calm down, stop looking over your shoulder and start concentrating on your own relationship. The good news is that you and your girl are still intimate on a semi-regular basis, which is a positive.

Talk to her away from the bedroom and level with her. Tell her that you love and desire her just as much as ever. What can you do in order to inject a bit of passion and life back into your sex life?

Does she fancy a naughty weekend away somewhere? How about a few date nights? Pencil in some early bedtimes complete with sex toys and new games if she’s interested.

You may find taking full intercourse off the menu for a time and indulging in dressing up, role playing, and the reading of erotic fiction gets your juices flowing too.

Ultimately, vow to keep an open mind and go for it. The key here is to make sex a priority again, to give yourselves plenty of time to experiment, push back the boundaries and get to know each other all over again. Cherish what you have.

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